Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
