Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I puked a lego.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
