There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
