real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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