If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
