Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
