HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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