woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So here I am, sexting at work.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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