i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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