I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
