Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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