There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
