my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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