It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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