I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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