I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
did i walk over a car last night?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize