You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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