my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
