I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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