weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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