yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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