Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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