I cannot find my penis.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize