How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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