No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
