when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
