walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
