She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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