Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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