Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Green mimosas i think yes
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
