The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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