did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
