We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
