This is not my ceiling
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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