when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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