so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
a search helicopter?!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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