you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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