NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
