dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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