Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
