i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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