i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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