when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize