Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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