You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
