ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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