Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
