went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
