break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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