OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He better not be in your backpack
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
