where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
