just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
