So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
