ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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