when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Randomize
