spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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