so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
