yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
only you would photoshop your dick
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
