It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
