I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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